Baden-Clay's affair was because he "just wanted sex"
HIS real estate agency was booming, he was building a name for himself in the business world but Gerard Baden-Clay was missing something.
"I just wanted sex," he said.
"Allison and I hadn't had any physical intimacy for years.
"It's no excuse but that's why."
Mr Baden-Clay - who kept breaking down and wiping his eyes with a handkerchief - was explaining in Brisbane Supreme Court why he cheated on his wife.
He admitted he had sex with three women while he was married to Allison.
First there were Brisbane women Michelle Hammond and Toni McHugh and then former Sunshine Coast woman Jackie Crane.
His affair with Ms McHugh, one of his staff, lasted about three years, while Ms Hammond lasted a month and Ms Crane was a one-night stand during a conference in Sydney.
Mr Baden-Clay said he first believed he and Ms McHugh, who also had a partner and twin boys, both wanted the same thing - sex.
"I was flattered at the outset because she looked up to me as a boss," he said.
"I was getting acknowledgement and appreciation that I hadn't really had before but really it was for the physical intimacy."
Mr Baden-Clay said his physical relationship was non-existent with his wife and their communication was poor.
He said the antidepressants she was taking had affected her libido and she had put on weight.
Mr Baden-Clay said his business was "quite successful" and he was winning awards but his home life was "not great".
"The main reason for that was Allison was putting a lot of her best efforts into the children," he said.
"Our sex life basically became non-existent.
"I just didn't want to force her and put her under any pressure so we just didn't.
"It became the norm that there was no physical intimacy."
Mr Baden-Clay said Ms McHugh had a volatile personality and in the end he was only sleeping with her "for the sake of the business".
He said he never had any intentions of leaving his wife but he "pretty much agreed to anything she asked to keep her happy".
"I didn't want her to leave the business and I didn't want her to cause any dramas should the relationship end," he said.
"For me it was really only a physical relationship and I didn't really want anything more.
"As time went on she wanted me to divorce Allison and start a life with her.
"I told her categorically that I would not do that, that my loyalty - it doesn't feel right using that word - but my loyalty was to Allison and my children and I didn't want to jeopardise that."
Mr Baden-Clay, who broke it off with Ms McHugh when his wife found out in late 2011, said he met with his mistress two months later around Christmas to tell her he did not hate her and to apologise.
"She asked me if I loved her," he said.
"She was very fragile, I could tell.
"I told her I did (love her) … but I didn't."
Gerard Baden-Clay changed routine that morning
NORMALLY Gerard Baden-Clay would shower first to let his skin "wake up" before shaving.
But the morning he reported his wife Allison missing he did not.
"I actually shaved first, ummm and then showered," he said.
"I was really rushing then and that's when I cut myself ...
"On that occasion I was using obviously my normal razor, which was quite old and blunt.
"Because it was blunt, I was pushing down quite firmly on my skin, like that, and I pulled down and I then flicked up like that and that's when I cut myself," he said, holding the highlighter pen like a razor in his right hand.
"I always shave my right side first and that's when I cut myself for the first time closer to me mouth.
"The reason I think it happened the second time was 'cos - and that hurt a lot - when I was coming down again, for the second time, I released before the previous cut to be sure that I didn't cut myself there, get involved in that first cut.
"I then continued to shave and had a bit of an issue shaving around those cuts obviously and cut myself again."
Defence barrister Michael Byrne said: "Indicating pushing down and then releasing up".
"Yeah, like that," Mr Baden-Clay said.
Mr Byrne asked: "Can you describe what those injuries appeared to be?".
"There were two um, fairly long, um, slices off my face," Mr Baden-Clay said.
Mr Baden-Clay said the scratching on his chest was an extension of what he assumed was a caterpillar biting his neck after it fell from a tree during his children's cross-country event the day before.
He said he had been given an antihistamine and some Stingose after it had happened but it had still irritated him and led to the scratching.