WE HAD a chuckle yesterday watching our little cockroach friends across the border have fisticuffs over which seaside town was better.
Our Northern NSW sister paper The Daily Examiner started the feud by declaring 10 reasons the Clarence Valley's Yamba was better than Byron Bay.
Describing its beaches as some of the best kept secrets of the Coast that offered "beauty without the hassle".
Big sister paper The Northern Star wasn't about to let that go and issued a patronising retort, with its 10 reasons Byron Bay is better than Yamba (and, when you get down to it, most of the world's beach communities)
So, sorry Byron, we couldn't let you get away with having the last word.
Here is our succinct and stinging response to Byron's lofty claims of excellence:
"Yamba says it offers more choice than Byron Bay, listing five in walking distance plus the 'surfing Mecca of Angourie just down the road'. Under the 'walking distance' rule, Byron Bay can claim Belongil Beach, Main Beach, Clarkes Beach, The Pass, Little Wategos, Wategos, and Cozy Corner/Tallow Beach in pretty much a continuous stretch of beauty. The stretch between Main Beach and The Pass would surely have to qualify as one of the single best stretches of sand on the planet."
So Byron has some nice spots and Yamba has a few, but the Sunshine Coast has everything, fact.
You can go to Mooloolaba and see plenty of sexy tanned flesh roasting in the summer sun; it's Queensland's answer to Bondi.
Or, you can find plenty of spots where there won't be another soul in sight.
The Sunshine Coast has more than 50 kilometres of perfect beaches packed with white sand and lined with Pandanus Palms, it is better than, well anywhere - including Byron Bay or Yamba.
We would name them all here but we don't need to just get in the car, drive to the coast and go north or south - it won't take more than 20 minutes to find an empty beach.
"Those same beaches include four first-rate surf breaks, plus an okay baby break at Belongil Beach, at the site of the historic Wollongbar wreck.
This, of course, does not including the surf break at Broken Head and, of course, the world famous surfing reserve at Lennox Head."
Crowded constantly by wannabe backpackers having their Australian holiday experience in between the sharks.
Byron has The Pass, it's a world class right hand point break. Yamba has Angourie - although the locals in Angourie would probably make it pretty clear to you that Angourie has Angourie if you turned up wanting a wave.
The Sunshine Coast has Noosa - that's First Point, Little Bay, Nationals, Tea Trees and Granites. That's five world class right hand point breaks, all of which compare to Angourie or Lennox.
On top of that we have a few more great right hand point breaks - Carties and the Bluff … but don't want to shout about where they are because we don't want all the kooks from Yamba and Byron Bay coming here.
"There are few things in the world better than going for a swim in Byron Bay on one of its calm "mill pond" days, when the waves lap gently at the shore and the Bay itself feels like the world's biggest marine aquarium."
Refer to points one and two.
"Walking along any of the beaches is a wonderful experience. However, if you really want to be stunned by beauty, try the walk between The Pass and Wategos, or the beach-side Lighthouse walk, or, if you want something really special, try the bush walk running the back way to the Byron lighthouse."
The only safe thing to do. Better that than drive.
5. SECRET SPOTS
"We have them. We're not going to tell you about them because they're, you know, secret. Some of them have scary-looking nude men at them."
They haven't existed by any definition in Byron Bay since about 1969
"The views from the Cape Byron lighthouse are so good they're worth walking up what, at times, feels like a near vertical incline or spending half an hour battling for a park in the small lighthouse car park."
Really? Everywhere you look is a view
"We're not saying it's the absolute prettiest lighthouse in the world, but it would have to be somewhere in the top 10 or 20"
Double Island Point beats it cold for tranquillity and an absence of crowds - seriously when was the last time you didn't have to queue?
"Byron has changed a lot over the years but remains home to some of the most interesting, polite, and clever people you're ever likely to meet. It has some of the other type too, but that's all part of the rich tapestry of life."
Being from Byron stopped being either interesting or particularly cool in 1975.
9. FOOD and DRINK
"Whether you're talking about meals from restaurants and cafes, products made for sale in shops or produce sold at markets, Byron food will keep your belly and your palate happy."
Now you are really struggling
"There's this idea that Byron is over-run by drunk teenagers and about 10pm on a Friday night it can sometimes feel that way. However, during the hours kept by your average family with kids, Byron is a great place. The beach is gentle, there's a great playground on the beach and an okay-ish one at Railway Park, there are all aforementioned views and walks, there are free barbecues where you can prepare a meal for the kids while enjoying the beauty around you."
Wasn't this place rated recently as NSW's most violent town?
11. PUBLIC TOILETS
"Byron Bay has two sets of state-of-art, self cleaning, talking and singing public toilets complete with brightly-lit buttons that are the pride of … gah. Just kidding. We all hate them. We're annoyed by the parking too."
Which beach destination is the best?
This poll ended on 02 October 2015.
The Sunshine Coast
This is not a scientific poll. The results reflect only the opinions of those who chose to participate.
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