REVERSING the aging process is in the same league as finding a Yowie, getting the trains to run on time or getting everyone to pronounce February with two "r's” in it.
The betting is long odds-on against.
However, The Lind came close by chucking out this month's scheduled production Act Your Age - a romp designed for elderly performers - and substituting the teen-themed Hating Alison Ashley, thereby, but not quite, exchanging panty-liners for nappies.
There's long been a thought that Coast theatre doesn't do enough to attract young audiences (the bulk of shows being aimed squarely at "mature” theatregoers).
So here was something decidedly tailored for the Clearasil brigade.
But they were notable, in the main, by their absence on the opening weekend when a mostly "mature-aged” audience chortled the time away.
To be fair, on Friday night The Lind staged a special free preview for students studying Hating Alison Ashley as part of their curriculum and an enthusiastic bunch from Sunshine Beach State High duly rocked up and, I'm told, thoroughly enjoyed the theatre experience.
But for whatever reason, they were the only school to take up the freebie invite.
Oh well, you can only try.
Having rather severe osteo and perambulating becoming a tad more difficult, I've been trying to figure the means to play Squire Peephole in The Indee's Reluctant Dragon in January (I've played him twice before).
Someone in the troupe suggested I play it in a wheelchair.
Hackles rising, I said "definitely no way” but thinking it through, perhaps I should reconsider.
The last time I had a wheelchair suggested was in the 1950s, when I was cast to play Adam at Sydney's Cell Block theatre and broke an ankle.
I refused the offer and was replaced by a young actor who got stunning reviews.
His name was John Bell.
Maybe I shouldn't risk it twice.
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