Caroline Hutchinson
Caroline Hutchinson

Household chores can sink a marriage

Is it just me or does everyone agree that from little things, big things grow?

I read an article "Wife divorces husband because he left dishes in the sink". And I knew it was true.

Last weekend John yelled at me for the way I put recycling in the bin. Apparently there is a system that I refuse to follow.

I agreed I am a recycling recalcitrant, but reminded him there are little things he does too. I don't yell, I just fix them or take deep breaths.

He laughed and tried to guess what they might be, and nailed a couple, so he knows.

I asked Facebook about the little things that drive partners crazy and from the response I would say every relationship has them.

Jess says her husband Normie leaves the empty sausage packet on the barbecue, every time he cooks.

Annette says Bill never passes on phone messages.

Peter says Brenda leaves empty toilet rolls on the holder.

Simone says Matt tightens lids so no one else can open them.

Bob says he and Di have been fighting for decades about which way the knife blades go when you're setting the table.

There were numerous complaints about stacking the dishwasher - doesn't appear to be gender specific.

Men were variously accused of leaving dirty washing near the basket, dirty dishes near the sink, tea bags near the bin and clothes near the wardrobe.

Ashley says his wife Sheila keeps the house spotless but her car looks like "the Buderim tip".

I think my favourite was Lisa who complained that after her husband makes her breakfast every morning he won't let her cut her own toast. You'll be pleased to know she admits it's not earth shattering.

Matthew Fray is the American man who lost his wife over dishes in the sink and now counsels other men trying to save their marriages.

He says that often the offending person doesn't listen to their partner, digest the information or care about how the other person feels. And that's a big mistake.

Mr Fray says sexless marriages do not just result from the loss of physical attraction - it is the loss of emotional intimacy because one of them begins to feel as if they're married to one of their kids.

In fact, a 2013 study found couples who reported the best sex lives also claimed to share household chores evenly.

Which is all well and good, providing they do the jobs in a way that doesn't make you want to scream.

After 30 odd years I reckon Johnny and I will survive bin day this week, luckily we don't own a dishwasher.


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