Internet challenges can be confusing ... and embarrassing

Internet challenges leave Damian Bathersby confused.
Internet challenges leave Damian Bathersby confused. Sunshine Coast Daily

MY wife walked into the bedroom just as I was slipping into a snug pair of grey tracksuit pants.

When I say slipping, I mean wriggling.

When I say snug, I probably should say skin tight.

"What are you doing?" she asked with the usual level of dismay she reserves for any occasion she walks into a room and finds me doing something unusual.

"It's the grey sweat pants challenge," I explained, still struggling to squeeze my right leg into a pair of pants designed for someone half my size.

"It's what all the cool kids call an internet challenge.

"Apparently I squeeze myself into this pair of super-tight grey trackie dacks, take a photo and post it online.

"Next thing you know, I'm hip to the groove with all the young guys and chicks."

For a minute, I wasn't sure if she was going to laugh or cry but then she did something I didn't expect - she turned and left the room without saying a word.

How's a bloke supposed to know his place in the world if the woman of his dreams can't be bothered telling him?

But I now understand why she was disgusted.

I looked up #greysweatpantschallenge and found it was all about the colour and tightness of grey tracksuit pants enhancing the appearance of the male anatomy.

Which explains why some of the photos I saw featured less-confident men with musical instruments - trumpets, tubas, French horns etc - stuck down the front of their trackie dacks.

Well, I think it explains it.

I really don't get internet challenges.

Remember the one where people were doused in buckets of iced water?

Or those people that used shot glasses to "puff up" their lips.

I think they called that one the Kylie Jenner lip challenge.

And just the other day the craze was the mannequin challenge, which involved people "freezing" in a tablueau.

Think of an office environment where absolutely no one is moving.

Who muttered something about "government departments"? That's completely unfair.

Thankfully, I'm to old for this sort of rubbish.

If I feel like wearing too-tight trackie dacks, standing still for hours, dousing myself in ice-cold water or sticking musical down my pants, I'll do it in the privacy of my own home and save the photos for those closest to me.

I reckon it's the least they deserve.


Topics:  damian bathersby humour column opinion column

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