Passing the Buck at the Broncos?
Passing the Buck at the Broncos?

Let’s go Broncos ... winning without a coach works!

Here is one interview you will never hear on the ABC radio:

“So welcome back to Footy Grandstanding, we come to you live from Suncorp Stadium inner sanctum, actually, from outside a toilet cubicle near the dressing room of the almost dead and knackered Broncos, where we are hoping to talk to super coach Anthony Seibold.”

Grandstanding: “Seibs? Are you in there?”

AS: “Go away, I’ve got the s….”

G: “Is that normal for the former NRL Coach of the Year after his side snaps a six-game losing streak?”

AS: “It is when your players sack you and change the locks on the dressing room and do not give you the key.”

G: “I see … look we have a national audience just waiting to hear how you turned around one of the greatest form slumps since … well last week against the Warriors. Can’t you come out and have a word face-to-face?”

AS: “That might be a bit awkward … I’m not in a fit state. Bloody Alfie pulled my pants down and threw them in the trash can along with my 300-page game plan on forward, lateral quantum movement of the ball in a linear continuum across the optimum end zone, also known as the try line. Or at least I thought he had binned all my superior strategies until I came to use the toilet paper here …

Brisbane Broncos
Brisbane Broncos

“That little bugger tricked me into wiping my … you know what, with my latest rarefied rationale ... a fully patented rugby league logarithm: e = mcHammer2. Relatively speaking, I’ve been trying to have Milf and the boys combine their natural running game with hip hop. It’s a decoy ploy I picked up at Harvard to create maximum confusion in our opposing forces?”

G: “Well it certainly seems to have worked a treat on Milf and Brodie Croft who seem to be at odds with each other for sure. They don’t seem to have a clue which side they should be on, and the rest of the team don’t know whether they’re coming or going, a bit like young gun David Fifita. Still, you must be heartened by that 26-8 win against the Bulldogs in front of 7000 long-suffering fans ... it makes a change from being booed off the field. What was the turning point?”

AS: “I think it was last week when a bunch of Broncos old boys were waiting for me outside the sheds with baseball bats, all with Kevvie Walters’ name on them. Not even Kotoni Staggs could catch me as I bolted for the team bus … which had already left without me.”

G: “Wow! I heard coaching the Broncs was a tough gig.”

AS: “Tell me about it, I can show you all the hate mail one day, all co-signed by Benny and Hook and hand-delivered by Ivan the ‘The Terrbile’, who really knows how to carry a grudge for not being rehired.”

G: “So what’s the game plan for next Friday against a fired-up Wests Tigers? I had heard a rumour that you were thinking of trading Darius Boy for some real attacking flair in the Broncs champion halfback Ali Brigginshaw and having her partner with Milf.”

AS: “She’s not taking my calls for some reason.”

G: “Of course not, why would she? She’s used to playing on Broncos premiership-winning sides. Look, thanks for your time, good luck avoiding the wooden spoon.”

AS: “It can’t be any worse than the Gorden Tallis death stares, geez … and I’d like to know who keeps leaving the Buck the mascot’s head in my bed after every game night. I think someone at Red Hill is making me an offer I can’t refuse …”

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