CHEATING on your other half is arguably the worst thing to do in a relationship - from long-term affairs to one night stands.

Some couples can forgive and forget and move past the betrayal, but for many it spells the end.

One woman took to parenting forum Mumsnet to share the story of her partner's infidelity, and whether or not she should forgive him.

The mum-of-two revealed what led her husband to cheat in a post entitled: "Is this an acceptable reason for cheating?".

"Sometimes can circumstances make someone vulnerable when in different circumstances they wouldn't have dreamt of doing it?" she wrote.

With an unequal sex drive to begin with, his being higher than hers, the intimacy had fizzled out of their marriage over the course of a year.

"Our sex life has got progressively worse over the past year and it had got to the point where I never wanted it and certainly never initiated anything.

"We were going through a very difficult period in our marriage and our relationship had deteriorated so much that I didn't feel loving towards him at all and if he initiated it and we did sleep together it was pretty obvious that it was just a chore to me and I wasn't really enjoying it.

A mum has taken to a forum to ask if her partners cheating is warranted.
A mum has taken to a forum to ask if her partners cheating is warranted.

"He said enduring this for a year (and we did have differences before this as his sex drive is higher) had made him feel really depressed and he thought I didn't fancy him or love him and was rejecting him.

"It made him feel absolutely terrible about himself so that when he then met someone who paid him a lot of attention (plus other stressful things in his life were going on to do with family) he started a friendship which then led to an affair."

She previously believed cheating would end a relationship, but now she wasn't so sure.

Accepting partial responsibility for the situation surrounding the affair, she said: "Obviously we both should have talked to each other about the way we were feeling as I felt that he wasn't treating me well at the time which is why I was finding it difficult to be loving towards him, but we didn't talk and now we are in this situation.

"We've talked a lot now and do still love each other and want the marriage to work but I'm finding it difficult to get over the betrayal even though I sort of understand what led him down that path."

As they tried to move past it, she was torn whether to give her marriage another go or leave.

She wrote: "He is in counselling and fully accepts that his behaviour was awful and is really ashamed of what he did.

"He wants to save the marriage and says he would do anything to do so and that he loves me.

"I would have probably been in the LTB [leave the b**tard] camp before this happened to me but it's so hard.

"My knee jerk reaction was to leave but I still love him and we have two young children, so I want to try and make things work."

She reached out to her fellow Mumsnetters for advice, and the response was overwhelmingly negative about the husband's actions.

One woman bluntly put it: "There is never a reason to cheat ... Ever. He cheated because his c**k means more to him than you do. Simple."

While another sarcastically wrote: "Did he put a caveat in your marriage vows about being faithful to you 'unless your sex life takes a bit of a temporary dive in which case I'll forsake you and shag someone else if they're nice to me' then?"

Nearly every response said "there is no acceptable reason to cheat".

One user went further to say: "B**tard excuses He lied, he cheated, he tried to blame his adultery on you.

"There is no excuse for this - or for his cowardice."

And one reply said: "There is no acceptable reason for cheating. A declining sex life might help explain why someone cheated but it doesn't justify it.

"And if things started going downhill a year ago he didn't give it much time before deciding to shag someone else, did he?"

The majority of responses very sharply drew the line under the relationship saying there is no acceptable reason to cheat or commit adultery, but some recommended counselling.

This article originally appeared on The Sun and has been republished here with permission.


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