Top bogan baby names for 2020 revealed

 

Bogan baby names are back for another year, and there are some absolute crackers on the list.

While 2020 has been quite the train wreck, new parents have responded with some proper belters when naming their newborns. And so here, Kidspot crown the winners of our favourite all-Aussie monikers.

For more stories like this, go to kidspot.com.au

Australia’s most bogan baby names for 2020 revealed. Picture: iStock
Australia’s most bogan baby names for 2020 revealed. Picture: iStock

BEST BOGAN NAMES FOR GIRLS

CARRYN

Karens everywhere have had a tough year. First the pandemic, and then the Karen memes. ALL of the Karen memes. But disguising "Karen" as "Carryn" doesn't fool anyone, mama. I know you've loved this moniker since childhood, but I really think you should let it go.

CHABLIS

How did I manage to miss this wine-inspired epithet? I've chuckled at Shiraz, Chardonnay and Shardonné over the years, but I hadn't heard of Chablis until I met one in the flesh a few weeks ago. The only problem was that she didn't pronounce it "cha-BLEE" like the French wine region, but "TCHA-bliss". Oh boy, was it ever hard to contain my glee.

CORONA

You knew there would be at least one virus-inspired name on this list, right? While there were countless ones to choose from, some of the other appellations - such as Covid, Lockdown and Sanitiser - were used by parents in foreign countries who may have reasons I don't understand for choosing them. But Corona has had a boost in popularity the world over, so here she is in all her glory.

GRACELAND

Even if you're a diehard Elvis fan, why would you want to name your child after his Memphis mansion? Wouldn't Grace, Priscilla or Lisa Marie do as a tribute? There are so many alternatives…

Animal names never go out of bogan style. Picture: iStock
Animal names never go out of bogan style. Picture: iStock

HONESTEE

Honestlee, this hurts my head. I'm already not a huge fan of the next-gen virtue names, but a misspelt one to boot? I'm out.

JEZZABELLA

According to the Hebrew Bible, Jezebel was one of the original bad girls. Trying to jazz up her name with a double "Z" and a modern "bella" ending is an odd choice in my books.

JINX

I get that 2020 is a strange year, but naming your daughter after a curse or a plague is probably not going to make things better. I'm not superstitious at all, but this is too much even for me.

JUMELLE

The thing with choosing random foreign words as baby names because they sound cool is that sometimes their meanings aren't fit for a bubba. "Jumelle" means "twin girl" in French. Weird.

KLOWEE

I was happy to note that there were fewer spelling massacres this year, but this butchering of "Chloe" nearly knocked me off my chair.

PISTOL

As you'll see in the boys' section, there's a real trend towards violent first names. I guess people are feeling tense about the year's events, but a wee baby girl called PISTOL? Come on, parentals. Just say no.

French names with an Aussie twists are always winners. Picture: iStock
French names with an Aussie twists are always winners. Picture: iStock

BEST BOGAN BABY NAMES FOR BOYS

AXE

Exhibit B on the dangerous weapons list. I was already mildly shocked when monikers such as Blaze and Diesel started appearing a few years ago, but these are next level. Do the owners have any choice but to become criminals? I mean, they can't exactly be schoolteachers or Supreme Court Justices.

BAMBOO

Yeah, nah, not feeling it. Just because rapper Big Boi did it many years ago doesn't mean you should too. It's been well-established that celebrities are not a reputable resource for baby naming and this instance is no different.

CHATON

This is another fantastic example of a foreign word that sounds cute but doesn't make any sense. It means "kitten" in French for crying out loud! Name your son Chaton and he's guaranteed to change it to Axe or Blade when he's old enough.

DAGGER

Or maybe Chaton will opt for Dagger. WTAH. DAGGER. Does anyone else have stabby mental images right now? Shudder. Imagine a teensy-weensy baby wearing a 0000 onesie called Dagger. It's absurd.

JAGUAR

In addition to weapon names, there also seems to be an animal theme this year. Back in my day, a boy named Jaguar would have been teased right off the playground. Have times changed enough for a Jaguar to be embraced? I honestly don't know, but I certainly hope so for poor Jaggy's sake.

Pandemic related names get a nod this year. Picture: iStock
Pandemic related names get a nod this year. Picture: iStock

JAXTYNN

Just when I thought the random insertion of X's and Y's into children's names was over, this little fella pops up. I'm fairly sure it's the first time I encounter this particular train wreck, but I can't be sure. All the Braxten/Jaydyn/J'zaydens of years past have melted into a big ugly puddle in my mind.

JEVIN

Hmmm, OK. We're over Kevin, so we're just going to swap in a "J"? May as well start naming children Febecca and Wavid then, hey?

MORDAX

Uroctonus mordax is otherwise known as the California forest scorpion. I don't mind a good old stinging insect, but I'm not sure it makes for a good baby name.

RAD

If you're going to choose a word that means "cool" for your kid, pick one that's more modern. How about Chillax, Chill AF or Awesomeballs? You're welcome!

TYGRRR

Oh, I see what you did there! It's an onomatopoeia! The end of the word sounds like the growling of a tiger! Newsflash: Your kid will hate it. Change it now.

This article originally appeared on Kidspot and was reproduced with permission

Originally published as Top bogan baby names for 2020 revealed


State cutting it fine on $5.6b deadline

Premium Content State cutting it fine on $5.6b deadline

Coronavirus Qld: State yet to lodge international student plan

Not just physical: The DV behaviour to be outlawed

Premium Content Not just physical: The DV behaviour to be outlawed

Qld DV laws: Coercive and controlling behaviour outlawed

Best holiday deals as state opens for business

Premium Content Best holiday deals as state opens for business

Queensland surge as border barricades crumble