MMMM: A cold beer.
MMMM: A cold beer. Mike Knott BUN180211BEE3

Why aren't you boozing at a little kid's birthday party?

ONE of my colleagues wrote a fair and reasonable opinion piece questioning the need for adults to be boozing at kids' birthday parties.

I respect his opinion and it was valid, but I have to disagree.

Where he asked "Why are you boozing at a little kid's birthday party?", I pose this question.

Why aren't you boozing at a little kid's birthday party?

No offence to my friends with kids, but if you want me to celebrate the anniversary of the emergence of your bundle of joy into the world you're going to have to lure me/numb me with some lip-loosening liquid.

I can think of countless things I'd rather be doing than attending the birthday party of a toddler, watching it showered in ridiculously expensive gifts it will outgrow, all while making awkward kid-related small talk.

I'll get the sweats, I'll get nervous. Am I making a good impression? Am I appearing even semi-conscious?

The refreshment of a cleansing ale is literally cold comfort in times like this. To be able to ease into a bit of arm-bending with friends as we all celebrate not just the birthday that will never be remembered, but the fact the parents survived another year of the most gruelling of jobs, parenting, is important.

It shows alcohol can be enjoyed responsibly rather than just abused sporadically and more importantly, teaches a valuable lesson we all learn later on. Birthdays aren't all they're made out to be.

Sure, it's the kid's birthday, but we're the ones paying for it, so why the hell can't we knock back a few?


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